Yikes Yagami!
by Lisa Lone
Summary: If you were a girl who fell in Light Yagami's room,  whom you hated  and a bunch of random hillarious stuff happened, then this would be a good story for you to read.  LightxOc LxMisa  sorry  MelloxMisa
1. Yikes Yagami!

**Hey, this is Lisa and I am proud to present my first ever fanfic! Hurray!**

**Mello: I really don't get why I am your hostage in a story about freaking Yagami!**

**Me: Hee hee, oh Mello, ya know I love you soooo much more than L or Light, (it's this sierra person that adores L).**

**Mello: Okay, but if this turns out to be a really long fanfic, and I can never escape then I will shoot your room up.**

**Me: Mello you gave away your location, now your fan girls will _ you! **

**Mello: -_-**

**Me: XD okay okay enjoy the story, there are a few bad (awesome) jokes, but otherwise it's fairly decent!**

**I do not own any death note characters, I only own Sierra D. Ethans, thank you and enjoy.**

!

When you are an average female teen living in average America, it is always enjoyable to imagine things, that you make up, or that you see on TV or read in a comic book. This is precisely what Sierra D. Ethans decided to do; only she didn't imagine it.

Line - !- Line

I woke to a really boring gray room, I was on the uncomfortably hard floor, and I had a crick in my neck. I stood and walked about not noticing anything out of the ordinary except that the door was locked, and that I didn't know where I was, and I didn't know how I got there!

I started walking about and looking into drawers, after all my older brother was a psychologist, he could be using me in a test and seeing what the reaction of a regular teen girl would be, and since I hate it when people assume we run about crying and screaming like maniac's, I decided to escape and just show the world how it was done!

"Where am I anyway?" I muttered to myself, thinking if there were people recording me that they might as well know my brother hadn't even told me a single blasted thing!

"You are in a room belonging to Light Yagami." Said a low voice from the corner of the room.

"Who's there?" I asked trying my hardest not to sound freaked out. I mean I recognized the name "Light Yagami" from an anime I had seen a couple of years ago, but it's not like my family had actually known about it, it was my little secret to sneak out of bed at night and watch these things, if I had told the world I actually liked anime, they would have called me a geek and kicked me out of ballet or something.

"I am Ryuk, how is it your able to hear me and not see me?" The voice said, as I watched an apple rise into the air, and begin eating itself.

"I d-don't know." I stuttered thinking this was rather odd, now that I thought about it; this room did resemble the real Light's room. . . .It was almost too creepy for comfort.

"Oh well, I'm not surprised much about anything anymore." Said Ryuk, (if that's really who he was).

"Um, what should I do?" I asked, half hoping he would tell me, and half hoping he wouldn't.

He shrugged. "You could try hiding in his closet, and then popping out and scaring him when he comes home from school."

I suddenly heard a door opening from down stairs and I heard some guy (supposedly Light Yagami) saying he was home and a mom exclaiming something about his school or dinner or something, the voices were kind of muffled through the LOCKED door.

I ran into the closet out of fear (and not thinking), and then started to wonder how the door had been locked anyway, being it that "Light" wasn't home yet. Basically it had been Ryuk's joke to lock a human out in the hall. So after a few threats from Light he let him in.

"Ryuk, is anyone suspecting anything?" Said Light, sounding a bit grumpy from being locked out.

"No not that I know of." Said Ryuk and then he started to chuckle madly.

I really wish Ryuk would not chuckle madly every time he wanted really badly to tell Light something but he couldn't because he was a shinigami and all, APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG ABOUT THE SHINIGAMI TATTLE-TELL RULES!

"Ya know what, Light?" said Ryuk, stuffing the rest of the apple into his mouth, before throwing it into the compost bin. (Curse Yagami and his Go Greenness)

"What?" asked Light, though he didn't act as if he was listening, he had just finished sticking pencil led in his door hinge, and he was now unpacking his back-pack and (the little neat-freak) sticking his books in his bookshelf, except for a few which he put on his desk in which to study.

"Well just between you and me, there's a girl hiding in your closet."

"Stop telling falsehoods Ryuk, you tried this last week."

"It's true this time; it really is go see for yourself."

"Fine, but if no ones in there, you're not getting any apples for a month."

Light walked quickly over to the door; I didn't even have time to hide or anything, man I really wished I wasn't here right now!

He stood there blinking at me for a few seconds, I (at the time) was wearing a gray tank-top, black skinny jeans, and sandals, plus my hair was a wavy platinum blond mess, I felt a dog, which was not helping matters since that thought probably crossed his mind too, (Note: I was not expecting to go anywhere that day.) He quickly slammed the closet door in my face and locked it, and the appalling thing he sat back at his desk and started studying.

"Hey!" I shouted, all doubt of this being fake vanishing from my mind. "Baloney Head! Let me out!"

"Why should i?" was his annoyingly calm reply.

"You'd make a reeeal good lawyer, Punk!"

"Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"I was too frustrated to think up a good insult, so I sat back and started kicking the door really loudly.

"Ya know," started Ryuk "maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to let her out, I mean you could just kill her, or throw her out the window, or. . ."

"I don't want to deal with that hag at the moment." Replied Light swiftly (which made me stop and listen as to what he would call me next .), "she'd only get in the way, do you think that if I accepted your shinigami eyes that I could brainwash her?"

"Ha ha no I don't think so."

"What!" I shouted, "You just let me out and see if you can brainwash me you dork face, and that's a genuine insult (that is if you know what dork means)!"

"Yes I know what "dork" means, including many other words, which your insignificant cranium, couldn't possibly understand."

"You're making me mad, just what are you planning to do with me all locked up in your closet?" I shouted in exasperation.

"Firstly, it is true I locked the closet, but you apparently were already in my closet, so I don't see why that would make much difference. Secondly, I could do many different things to you, but unfortunately I am far too stretched between school and . . . . . . school to mention any of them."

"I already know you have a death note and are trying to kill off criminals or something and make the world a happy living hell." I whined.

There was a horrible awful silence, in which I could telepathically hear him plotting how and when to kill me, so I kept my stupid trap shut, which I should have anyway, but I was way too angry for that.

"Wow," whistled Ryuk, "she seems to know quite a bit, are you sure you never met her before."

"Ryuk!" said Light, finally sounding a little bit more human, "Did you tell her anything while I was at school?"

"No I swear, she only got here a bit before you came home anyway."

"How and why did she come, and who is she?"

"You'd have to ask her yourself, I don't know anything I only told her to hide in the closet." Said Ryuk, now sounding more and more interested in how this would turn out.

"How did she come Ryuk, how? You've been here all day, you must have seen her."

"Well I was picking a ripe juicy red apple from the bowl, and I glanced around to make sure I could eat the apple, and then I saw a girl laying asleep on your floor, and I don't know how humans work, I just expected this to be some Japanese ritual for mating or. . ." Light cut him off.

"No, that's not how humans work Ryuk!" "Aargh, I don't have any spare time for this, I am already 10 minutes behind schedule, it will cut into my sleep!"

Now I was no expert on Anime characters and their sleeping hours, but I could tell he wasn't getting enough as it was. He was plainly already going insane, and judging from his earlier statement that no one was on to them that this was fairly early in the series.

"Hey don't kill me or throw me out the window or . . . . yeah "that", because I know all about your future and what will happen and I could be like a valuable hostage in a shoujo manga or something." (Me thinking all the while of being hostage to L :3). He unlocked the closet and opened it, only to have me fall out, in a muddled mass.

"hmmm," said Light apparently thinking it over, "sorry, but no, I can't have people knowing a random anime girl was locked in my closet anyway, it would cause a bad reputation, so I am going to take you to a bus stop in the morning and send you to Tokyo, all buses lead to Tokyo."

"The Morning!" I shouted, I mean I know he needed sleep more than ever, but seriously, it was just plain wrong to leave a girl in your closet all night long.

"Yes the Morning; hey here you are." He had been hastily typing on his computer and now came up with a picture of me, only it wasn't quite me, it was me with slightly bigger eyes and a slimmer appearance (not that I needed being any slimmer than I already was). "I really wonder how you got here," he continued "perhaps you left the anime, or maybe escaped from a manga, hmmm, I don't think I have any manga in my room, though my sister might."

"What!" I shrieked, "Are you saying I'm in a manga?"

"Well yeah, you know, _Ballet and the Beast_, don't tell me you don't know your own anime?" he smirked, I was starting to freak out, I mean I thought he was in an anime and I was real life, but I guess I could have mixed that up somehow, I'd have to test it.

"B-b-but you're in an anime." I stuttered, "You know, Death Note with you and Near and Mello and everyone."

"Wait." He said suddenly frowning, "Are you telling me, that in your Anime, I'm in an Anime?"

"I guess, only I was gonna say that in reverse, oh why am _I_ in an anime that's so weird . . . what's it called again?"

"_Ballet and the Beast_, a shoujo Manga, ten and up, "_find out the secrets of true love_", and goes all the way up to volume 10, _Yippee_."

"Well, you're a crazy mass murderer in Death Note, and then everyone dies!" I said in frustration, I was getting really annoyed I was in such a petty thing as _Ballet and the Beast_, who was this _Beast_ anyway?

"Of course everyone dies, ha ha ha, I am killing them."

"Yeah, yeah you and your evil shinigami, and model, and later on your complete #1 fan, go around killing people with death notes."

"Did I hear a plural death note? Meaning there's more than one?"

"No, you heard nothing of the kind. I said resolving never again to give anything away."

"And who's this _model?_" asked Light

"Oh well I guess you wouldn't have met her yet, seeing as how you haven't met my true love L yet, though with a _name_ like _yours_ I'm surprised you even care about _female_ models." I said, mentally slapping my face, for giving more away.

"L. . . .L . . . that name sounds vaguely familiar, he might be one of my dad's bosses, hey what did you say about my name?"

"Oh nothing, except the ever popular joke about your name backwards!" I burst out laughing hysterically, at the look of confusion on his face.

"What? You mean tghil? What's weird about that?" asked Light, he was utterly not getting it, even though he was like top of his class and able to fool the police and everything.

"HA HA HA!" I screeched; "try your other name Mister Yagami!"

After a moment of complete silence, he abruptly glared at me, his reddish brown eyes, trying to figure me out, which was something the anime must have had a hard time portraying, his eyes were so pretty.

"That is just wrong." Came his cold reply, "You must have been an incredibly extreme fan girl that has a sick mi-

Before he could finish his sentence, and before I could reply that I was not a fan girl of his at all, a knock came at the door. He hastily shoved me in the closet, and locked it again, telling me quietly that if I spoke there would be murder.

He opened the door, and I could hear him speaking with his sister, she was wondering what all of the noise was about, he muttered something about a computer game, and told her he wouldn't play anymore and that he would start studying. She sounded a bit confused (maybe because he never played computer games) but mumbled agreement and left.

He opened the closet door, again looking really very bothered.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble." He said suddenly, switching from evil and glaring to innocent and gentlemanly. "How about we start over and get to know each other better." He then smiled a forced smile, and held out his hand.

"Um thanks." I said taken aback and not really sure what had changed his attitude. I took his hand, surprisingly warm, and rose into a standing position.

Ryuk who had been silent for awhile now started cackling madly again, I wondered what could be the new secret.

"So, how are you?" asked Light in a sickly sweet voice he sometimes used when he was playing innocent, since I knew he wasn't innocent anyway, I didn't see how this could be helping anything. "It must be hard, being a girl with your _beauty_, _intelligence_ and _skill_." He said, taking my hand and bowing, like I was some lady of high class.

"T-thank you, erm Light, and your pretty smart yourself." Was the only response I could think of to this compliment. I scratched the back of my head, trying to think of what he was up to.

Ryuk was laughing hysterically now, and I could tell it was bothering Light for some reason.

"I'm afraid we have not been properly introduced, I am Light Yagami, as you already know, and you are?"

I started to tell him my name, but then a sudden thought entered my brain. This guy could kill you if he knew your name and your face, therefore, with his abrupt change of attitude and his asking my name, I became very suspicious.

"Why should I tell you, you'd probably just kill me!" I spat

The silence, made me feel very awkward, until Light grabbed my wrist and swung me on the bed to face him, which was more awkward, he then got on top of me, now I know an inappropriate scene when I see one, and I was clearly hoping this would not turn out to be one of those.

"I would tell me your name if I were you." He said switching back to evil, I could feel his breath on my neck, it was extremely nauseating and I felt just a bit guilty toward L.

"Why, why couldn't you just look it up when you looked up _Ballet and the Beast_?" I asked half hoping my name wasn't anywhere in that Manga.

"In _Ballet and the Beast_, You were always called _Ballerina Pink-Pink_, I tried writing it down already, but unluckily all it did was take up precious space in my note book." Was his cold reply, I felt relieved at first, then really really scared, and a bit bugged off about being named _Ballerina Pink-Pink_.

I gulped down my fear, and tried pushing him off me, but another thing it never told me in the Anime was that Light Yagami was strong. I was slightly afraid he would go vampire on me, but then again I highly doubted that was possible for him.

He got off, finally deciding that seducing me was not the right approach. He turned his back to me and took a few paces away.

"Please?" he asked softly.

Ryuk was chuckling again though so I concluded he must be up to another plot to get my name.

He turned back at me, tears in his eyes, and a forlorn expression on his face. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was sincere, I hesitated wondering if he really wanted to know my name that much.

"I-I need you gone, I can't have you here, it could mess up my chances of world domination." He stammered, making his eyes as big as possible.

Despite what he said, it nearly melted my heart, who knew that _Light Yagami _could have so much _Loli Boy_ in him?

"Well, because of many reasons I can't tell you my name." I started "But I can help you with _some_ of your plans, I can't have you killing L, but anything else I'll aid you in." I couldn't believe those words were coming out of my mouth, I mean what a stupid thing to promise someone who moments before would have been grateful if I had been buried alive. But like many foolish things I had done before I held out my hand and he shook it.

!

**Whoa, cliff hanger, please leave a comment, and I will try and write the next chapter soon :D BYE BYE!**

**(yeah after looking this over i realised Ryuk should have been following Light around at school too, so it was his day off.)**


	2. Life in the Kanto region

**So yeah, sorry everyone for my rotten separating line from last time, it wouldn't let me make a line out of explanation marks, so never try it. :p**

**I know my last chapter was sort of weak, but I am going to work it out and make it flow better. **

**Mello: Heck right cha are, but cha better not make me sound like a Pratt.**

**Me (Lisa): O.o wow Mello your language is very good in this fanfic, I'm surprised!**

**Mello: That's because your "conscience" says not to cuss.**

**Me: Yeah yeah, it's not your turn to talk anyway, so just shut it. _ (and yes I do have an imaginary cricket that tells me right from wrong)**

**Mello: *grumbles***

**Me: Anyway sorry about the stinkiness of my last chapter, i will keep trying until I get up to average level. Also the facial expression that Mello made in the last chapter intro was a whole lot longer, but it wouldn't let me put that many dashes. -_-**

**Mello: I'm entitled to talk! All I have to say is, WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HER ROOM; YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S DONE TO ME BEHIND THE SCENES!**

**Me: 3: now now Mello, we mustn't loose our temper, or I will have to **_**give you your medicine. **_**(And yes I am being hypocritical toward my cricket)**

**Mello: 'O_ _ _ _O I'm dead! AAAAAAAAAAHH!**

**Me: I do not own any death note characters including Mello, or any cereals, or any of the FBI, or coffee houses, or the conscience being a cricket idea. I do however own Sierra D. Ethans, thank you and have a fun reading.**

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As Light was asleep, which was pretty soon after his convincing performance, I was being held hostage by a chair (don't ask) and really regretting for about the forty sixth time agreeing to aid him. I was already starting to make up my mind, that I wouldn't aid him anyway. It's okay to go back on your word under these circumstances right?

Ryuk was in the corner hanging upside down with his wings covering his eyes; I had always thought shinigami didn't sleep, when in actuality they did.

I meanwhile was trying to get the taste of sock out of my mouth, and struggling to get my hands free from painfully tight rubber bands and my body from ripped sheets (which light had an excuse for ripping, for he just happened to be doing a project on ancient Egypt anyway).

At about 1:45 I had gotten my hands free and was trying very hard to keep quiet, and be quick about untying the rest of myself. Light snorted a bit, which caught me by surprise, I had always pictured him as a quiet sleeper; I mean he was so perfect in everything else.

After I had gotten myself out, i picked up the chair (which had fallen to my great terror) and put it aside, gladly no one had woken up. Now I had to devise a plan for sneaking out. The door would be nice, if light's dad wasn't a super police chief and had probably placed security alarms all around the house. So my only safe option would be the window, which I could get out of if I used my sheet rope as a ladder. This could work; I'd just have to be extremely careful, even more so than expected for the window was directly above light's bed.

I took the sheet rope and wrapped it around my shoulder tying one end to Light's desk, slowly getting on Light's bed and crawling carefully around his legs to the window. He twitched a bit which startled me. I glanced around and noticed that Ryuk was awake and was staring at me. I froze, what could I do, I was caught and Ryuk would tell Light and it would be all over. Ryuk on the other hand didn't seem to mind that I was escaping; in fact he looked perfectly in the norm. He sort of nodded at me and grinned (upside down), and I took that to mean he wouldn't tell.

I unlatched the window, and tried to open it, but it was stuck, I pulled for awhile afraid for the time that was slipping by, it was 2:28 now and I wanted to be out and long gone by 5:00; far away and safe by the time light woke up.

Light unfortunately didn't, or at least he didn't in his sleep, for he now was mumbling something about 384 criminals per day, and was starting to sit up. I frantically tried the window again, but to no avail. Light by now was reaching toward me, and I was worried about what kind of dreams he would start having if he caught me.

I tried baking away, and off the bed, giving escape up entirely, but he caught me and I was dragged into an enormous face forward hug that wouldn't let go.

"16 an hour, 51 every time-, shop-lifters, them too?" He muttered. I noticed to my distain, that he definitely had morning breath.

I was hit with worry and fear, Light had me in his arms, which besides being awkward was crushing my spine, and he was contemplating when and who to murder! I couldn't get to the window, and I didn't want to try, I was afraid he would wake up like this, and I would have to explain; I was very much doubting he would believe me anyway.

I slowly tried to wiggle my arms free, which didn't work at all, in fact it caused Light to turn over toward the wall, and squeeze me even tighter. That, at least, dashed the worry that he could see down my shirt.

"I don't like cheerios." Said light in a whiny voice, I started in curiosity, I mean _cheerios_?

"Why not?" I answered back, without thinking very clearly, scanning his face to see if he was still really asleep.

"Because, I just don't, I'd much prefer Multi-Bran Chex anyway! Said light in defiance.

I stared in wonder wondering if his cereal choice had anything to do with the names of them.

"That's alright I like Multi-Bran Chex too." I said quietly figuring that lying was better than making a sleeping murderer frustrated.

Light sighed contentedly and released me merely to turn back around and begin sucking his thumb.

I was in shock, who would have thought that Light relived his childhood while asleep, if I ever got out of "Death Note World" and back into my world, I would have to write that fact in my journal which I kept for all intensive purposes.

I got up and luckily the window wasn't stuck this time, it slid easily open and I dropped the other part of the rope outside, contemplating the adventure that would be waiting for me, outside of this orderly gray dead room.

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When the sun started rising I was a little more cheerful, I was free from the clutches of a mass murderer, and I had successfully gotten out of the bush. I now hate bushes.

I had been walking around his neighborhood for awhile and had finally found my way into the city I was assuming I was near or in the Kanto region or in it, but you couldn't really depend on anime for location information, or year for that matter, I mean back where I came from the year was 2011, but here I soon figured out by pulling old newspapers out of the trash bins that it was 2007 or around that time period.

People were giving me odd looks as I walked along, maybe because it was getting close to winter here and most people were wearing coats and jackets, at least I matched the color scheme, which was gray and black. I felt gross all in all not just because Light had snuggled me, but that I hadn't washed my hair in a while and it was frizzier and dryer than ever, also I hadn't slept last night (who could?) and I was beginning to feel very drowsy.

I glanced around hoping to find a park bench to sit on and rest, but just then a shopkeeper from a small cafe asked me if I wanted to step in a warm up a little, I readily accepted, and walked in.

The shop was a little coffee house, with many school girls meeting before school to do homework and a few women who looked like fashion designers, there were men there with gray and white hair and kindly expressions, or men in suits who looked like they would give you a false fund if they could. The weird thing was that the men in suits looked familiar; I mean one of them in particular.

I stared in fascination; I had found Raye Penber, and presumably the rest of the FBI agents as well all sitting in a booth. I sat down next to one of the fashion designers, and didn't mind much when they left the table in disgust. I picked up a menu and held it in front of my face so I could spy on the FBI agents and not look to suspicious.

"Did you catch the golf tournament last night?" asked one of the agents.

"Yeah I thought Hubert Luffington should have won, but that stupid hill was in the way." Said another one shaking his head sadly.

_Golf_, _really? _I thought to myself, seriously if that's all they were going to talk about I might as well not be listening.

"Hey why is there a girl with leafs in her hair staring at you raye?" inquired one of the aggents

Raye Penber just shrugged his shoulders and gave me a sideways look. Only then did i realize, that my cover was blown!

Raye Penber then stood up, and began walking over to the men's bathroom which reestablished my interest, score! I could capture him that way and warn him about his soon to be death.

I walked over and stood outside the door glaring at it just waiting for him to come out, so I could tell him the awful truth, for this was my mission and purpose in life! Some school girls at a nearby table were looking at me oddly, trying to figure out why I was trying to stalk some random guy in a suit?

I saw one of the employees walking towards me, oh no I thought, I needed somewhere to hide. So I dashed into the men's restroom, which was probably not the wisest thing to do (reminder: I had NO SLEEP).

I looked around quickly, not seeing Raye Penber, I presumed he was in a stall, and I ran around to an empty stall and closed and locked the door. Some guy at the sink was muttering in disgust about guys with long hair or something, and some other guy was getting up off the floor and coughing, (he just happened to fall when I went in, I didn't knock him down or anything).

Have you ever noticed just how nasty it is in a public boy's bathroom? Well you almost certainly haven't unless you are a guy or an incredibly daring girl. Let me just say it stank terribly I had to hold my nose, from all the smells encircling my nostrils.

The employee came in, looking for a strange girl that had just been reported to run into the guys bathroom, the guy from the floor then started explaining to the employee that he had seen a girl who had dashed into a stall. I hoped desperately that he didn't know which one.

He didn't for he definitely got a complaint from the guy in the stall he had opened, and I'm almost certain the employee later got fired. Anyway while all this was going on, Raye Penber had left, I knew this because everyone else left _in case of a psychopath lady on the run with a knife in the men's restroom! Police Orders! _(Rumors quickly spread).

I left finally, only to have the same school girls scream "Bloody murder!" to which I stuck my tongue out at them, then started to run for my life. _Everyone had heard that there was a crazy blond woman who had blasted two coffee houses already and she was trying to blast a third_. I of course did not believe this rumor, for obvious reasons and so was not as panicky as everyone else on the streets that I walked out on.

A random lady (with blond hair) who was feeding the squirrels got knocked over by police men, who suspected anyone blond now. I made a mental note to keep hidden until I could find a hat or a hood.

My wish happened way sooner than expected.

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I walked along the side walk, whistling to myself and thinking besides this being chilly and everything being grayish blue, it was a pleasant day. That thought left my mind almost as soon as it came.

A hand grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me back, I was now in a dark alley way and afraid for everything I had. Another hand clasped itself over my mouth before I could protest and continued to drag me deeper, through garbage and rubble and past a few rats. I was kicking my legs as hard as possible, thinking it could probably throw the person off balance.

"Would you please be quiet?" said a tenor male voice, which was an unusually polite request, for someone who is trying to mug you, that is.

"MMMGGHHHMMMMNNNNJJJJRRR!" I replied grumpily.

"Okay, I know you don't like being kidnapped, but we have to get rid of you." Said the kidnapper, if I didn't know any better I would have just went along with him, he sounded so nice. (I mean besides wanting to get rid of me).

I licked my juiciest lick on his hand, only to notice it was gloved and that wouldn't work, so I bit it. The guy let go and I fell with a thud and a sore rear and dust flew up all around. I had been in some extremely nasty places this morning.

"Ouch!" said the guy finally sounding a bit more frustrated. "You bit me!"

"Yeah I did, you lousy pedophile!" I retorted.

I stood up and tried to leave at a run only to bump into this weird blond lady, I began wondering if this wasn't the psychopath that everyone was talking about, I mean she looked kind of wild. Black leather, gun pouches with guns in the pouches, chocolate, a scary expression, wait _chocolate! _This lady was nuts.

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**Ha ha ha, don't worry light is still the main character man in her life. I was not expecting it to head this direction either. **

**Mello: **_**Girl?**_** #%$#&$^#$!$^&**

**Me: Oh Mello, anyway I am very happy that I received some comments that was nice, and I will continue trying to not leave a long gap in between posting. **

**Also no offence to Men's bathrooms i'm sure there very clean in our world.**

**Special Thanks to lolzy33, powerpuffklutz, and Mesymes for being the first to follow this story. :D **


	3. Knowledge Hurts

**Lisa: Okay, so I know I haven't updated in like forever, which is awful of me and everyone deserves an apology, but I don't really believe in virtual apologies. . . .so I will just say that I will try really hard to never again let it go this long!**

**xX Truth is that I have been really depressed, and had to see a counselor, and erm, I'm betterish, so now I will go back to fanfiction writing. There is no need to worry about that, and don't be afraid that reading my stuff with make you depressed, cause it is still comedy after all Xx **

**Mello: Yeah, was that why you left me all alone locked in your closet for this long? .**

**Lisa: . . .yes **

**Mello: oh, okay, well now I'm out and need a shower.**

**Lisa: ok, go take your shower. : **

**(I absolutely (for now) don't own any death note character or Japanese Hershey bars (if even existent), I do however own Sierra D. Ethans and Saffron! I 3 Saffron.**

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"Come with us, or die." Came the words of the man/woman now pointing a gun at me; I really didn't mean to offend her, but after a little while of arguing back and forth, he got bugged and pointed a gun at my head, and I figured out he was a guy (not because of his voice, not because of the gun). I was at this time still being held by a guy named "Matt" probably one of his dumb criminal cronies.

"Fine" I spat, "but if you try anything funny you're going to pay with a pound of flesh" I said trying my best to sound intimidating, but only sounding a bit poetic; and remembering ruefully that I had formerly failed at biting.

"Whatever" said the _man_ motioning to his mugger; who then dragged me into this garage cell looking place I was wondering why not just knock me out, I mean I had figured I was an easy target, but maybe they were hoping to get a ransom, "good luck" I thought, again feeling briefly homesick.

To my great surprise they plopped me on a comfortable couch, and didn't even tie me up or anything (unlike my last kidnapper) they just started acting like nothing had happened; Matt was pulling out some kind of hand held electronic that was making shooting noises, and the _man_ was opening a cabinet.

"Saffron!" he yelled, "where is my chocolate?"

There was no answer.

"Saffron!" he shrieked louder followed by some unmentionables and a few curses, he stalked off apparently to find _Saffron_.

"Well hi" I said finally coming to the conclusion that they had just roughly invited me over for lunch.

"Hey there" said the red headed video game addict sitting in the corner. He then glanced up at me as if he just now noticed I was here.

"Aren't you guys going to tie me up or anything?" I asked, speaking before thinking as usual.

"Sure okay" said Matt so he went off, he came back a few seconds later with a rope in hand.

I stood up suddenly; "On the other hand" I started "I was just joking".

"I'm not" replied Matt now stepping continually closer.

I was trying to figure out what to do, I mean run? Scream? Do the hokey pokey? There were so many options for self defense, yet I felt defenseless.

Matt was very close now, it was a little bit familiar, oh yeah Light, I then remembered something.

"Matt?" I asked. "What is your favorite cereal?"

Matt backed-up looking at me like I was some random piece of cauliflower that had just then decided to speak.

"What does cereal have to do wi-, Wait, you mean Serial, right?"

"Well yes, so what's your favorite?"

"Probably Serial Womanizing, but I'm sure my boss is into Serial Killing." Said Matt calmly, as if this had been discussed previously, and it was now common knowledge.

"I've never heard of those cereals, man they sound awful, what do they taste like?"

Matt then realized that I was in fact asking about breakfast cereals and was trying to figure out why when Mello came in, with another Lady who was wearing a motorcycle jacket and muttering about men always loosing things and being unhealthy.

"WHERE IN THE STUPID-HEADED WORLD, DID YOU SLAP-DRAGON PUT MY CHOCOLATE!" roared Mello, seemingly annoyed about everything in the SHEEP-GRAZING PLANET!

"Darling, I think all this chocolate will wreck your nice gangster figure, so I-" Then Saffron (assuming the name) got cut off by another explosion from the man lady. Matt was meanwhile trying to explain something to Saffron about why she should leave, because he was just about to tie someone up on the couch and have a fun time, but I was too tired to think, I was hungry and exhausted, I hadn't eaten or slept in awhile, so I decided to speak up.

"Excuse me?" I asked "Can I eat something, and sleep?"

"Yep" said Selena perkily "Sorry Sweetie, I didn't notice you at first." She went over to the same cabinet that Mello was looking through so vigorously and produced a box of potato flakes, and handed it to me, saying that this should cheer me up, she then steered Mello out of the room.

I looked at the box dolefully wishing it was something more delicious, but when opening it, I found that it was filled to the brim with chocolate! I stuffed myself rapidly unaware of the ruffled red head watching me.

"What?" I asked when I noticed "Haven't ever seen a woman eat?"

Matt didn't respond instead he gently took the box of chocolates away and set them on the table, he sat down next to me (on the couch, which is where I was this whole time) and asked a question, that I had been struggling with myself for like 20 hours.

"Where did you come from?"

"mhhhfff geh huggish wiffle." I responded still trying to chew like five Japanese Hershey bars at once.

Matt waited till I was done, and continued.

"Like, your not the same, you look different, like some cartoon or something, and you don't act like your from this world at all."

"Well yeah" I said trying to forget about actually being swirly girly ballerina or whatever I was. "I'm not, like from your gothic city, where everyone dies the entire time, world. Who would want to be? I mean your world seems harsh and violent."

"It is." Said Matt with a sigh. "But it's real, and I anyway would rather have the truth about the world, than live in some fake dream where everyone shares lollipops and bubbles in a field of flowers."

Before I could respond to this odd but deep analogy, Saffron marched into the room, slamming the door behind her.

"THAT MAN!" stormed saffron. Waving a knife around in the air. (Luckily missing Matt's questioning comment, on Mello's gender.)

"What did he do?" I asked, wondering if the knife meant murder and shaking at the prospect.

"HE IS EATING CHOCOLATE!" Roared Saffron.

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Meanwhile in the kanto region. . . .

It had been a looong day, he went to school, went to the library and now he was planning to study till he was assured of an 110 percent.

What was that thing that kept bothering him the back of his head? He had dealt with his criminal killings today, he was still top in his class, he was making it appear that he was blameless and perfect . . . what was it then-oh snap! It hit him.

"Ryuk?" he asked "did the girl from ballet and the beast happen to be here this morning?"

"ha ha nope, she escaped while you were asleep." Replied Ryuk, cracking up at the thought of light forgetting something.

"What, why didn't you tell me at once, she knows my secret, I've got to kill her!"

"You tried that remember, it didn't work." Said Ryuk.

"That's because Ballerina Pink-Pink isn't her real name- she never told me her name!" I've got to find her fast before she leads a life in this world, and people start to recognize her existence."

Just then a huge gust of wind blew and a newspaper landed at Light's feat.

He picked it up and gaped at the front headline.

_Crazy Blond, Attacks FBI in a local Diner! _

The most unusual things happen in life for a reason; this was one of those things. If you were walking by and you saw a young man gawking at a picture in the news paper, a picture of the girl who had escaped his bedroom, the girl he needed dead. You would have passed by, not concerning yourself with stranger's affairs (especially one yelling at himself), not taking part in noticing the unusual happenings in the life around you, the life you're lucky to be living.

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A couple hours later when Saffron had thoroughly beaten Mello to a pulp, and Matt was in the corner playing Mario (no surprise there), Saffron had gone to the grocery store to rob some salad and try to teach Mello the importance of vegetables. So with nothing else to do I went over to comfort Mello in his state.

"Um, do you need some band-aids or something?" asked Sierra, standing a safe three feet from the injured mafia boss. He was in a back storage room, with a dumpster in the center of it.

"Get away from me!" he grumbled into his shirt, hunched up against the wall.

"Hey you're the one who kidnapped me, in return for that inconvenience at least allow me to help!"

"I don't need help; I don't need anyone, not my parents, not my sister, not anyone."

"I didn't know you had a sister!" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"Of course you didn't." said Mello raising his head long enough to give me a "your obviously weird" look.

"I mean, correct, ha ha, I don't know you're a crazy jealous lunatic, and have a thing against near or anything."

Mello's facial expression was priceless, I mean I understand that it's stupid and mean, but messing with hot anime guy's life brings such joy.

Then I rethought saying those things, for Mello was now pinning me to the dumpster, which was not comfortable, and breathing down my neck.

"You- take it back- how do you-?" Mello's thoughts were as muddled as his speech, but my mind was sharp enough to distract him from strangling.

"What is your favorite _breakfast_ Cerial?"

"Wuh?" asked Mello, slightly confused at my reaction.

"What is your favorite breakfast Cerial?" I repeated again.

Mello put me down and studied me.

"Trix!" he said before stalking off to his room.

"hhhhmmmmfff" said Matt standing in the door way and trying to stifle his laughter.

"what's so funny?" I asked

"You!" said Matt. "That was amazing! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"huh?"

"Come on, we need to have a little talk." Said Matt suddenly getting serious.

So I walked with him into the main filthy room and sat reluctantly on the couch again (since the chocolate, I was awake enough to notice the soot), Matt plopped down next to me, I refrained from telling him that he was sitting on chewed gum.

"There are three questions I must ask, Firstly how do you know about near?" asked Matt

So I explained as best I could about how I was from America, and how here I was from a manga and to me I'm in a manga now, and I've watched this show, except Matt wasn't really in it that much, and that's how I know who near is.

I could tell with annoyance that he believed I was insane and had been brainwashed or was really bad a lying, so he asked another question.

"Secondly, if you know all this, why don't you know about Mello's sister?" Matt asked leaning even closer and staring intently into my eyes.

So I explained as best I could, that the show didn't go into Mello's past really; all I knew about it is that he was probably catholic (and a not very sane one at that).

Matt then began to explain Mello's past, and I listened.

"_A long time ago, in 1987 Mello was only 7 at the time. Mello's Father took Mello and Felicity to Church every Sunday morning, when one day, his mother collapsed of heart failure . . .and died, that same day their church burned down, everyone but her got out alive, and they never rebuilt it; but alas because of his Father's belief to go to church, he continued to take them, to the burnt spot where the church used to be, where a death took place, and they would stand there and possibly sing, until 3 years after his mother's death, his father standing there at that burnt spot, had a heart attack, and died. It is not possible to murder someone, by means of a heart attack, but if it were, Mello would've suspected his Sister, Felicity. Mello was only 10. . . . he was taken to Whammy's orphanage. . . . all he had was his cross necklace . . . that's it"_

"Wow, I mean I knew he was an orphan, but I never thought about such a stressful life, I always thought it was abandonment or something." I said, horror struck that such a thing happened. "Now what was your other question?" I asked sweating slightly as Matt got closer.

"Thirdly, Will you let me kiss you?" asked matt, before I could respond he leaned in and kissed me.

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**Lisa: Wow, I did not see that coming, I guess I should have though, matt's kind of a player. (I wonder what Light would do to him)**

**Mello: they made me look like a freezing cry baby o**

**Lisa: oh yeah how was your shower?**

**Mello: . . .um wet? Why?**

**Lisa: Oh no reason, by the way you're missing something.**

**Mello: O_O give me back my TOWEL!**


	4. Returning Reluctantly

**Lisa: Okay, I am really liking having Mello live in my room, and the most hilarious thing is, that my parents don't even notice! Mwa ha ha ha ha!**

**Lisa: anyway sorry for the random letters or like dots in my last chapter, they were faces, but fanfiction just doesn't like faces. So for a while, until I can figure out how to, I won't have that many faces.**

**Mello: Hey Lisa, your parents said they have death by chocolate ice-cream. . . . . .so does it really like you know kill you?**

**Lisa: No Mello, don't be ridiculous, all it means is if you eat some everyday you'll die of diabetes.**

**Mello: aw, I thought you'd be dead. D: **

**Lisa: . . . .you want me dead? (to audience) Okay while I deal with Mello you can read the chapter, just be sure you know what I own and what I don't (its pretty basic, I mean I've been saying it for the last few chapters.) (oh wait add Felicity and Sir Death Snare, just in case they come in.) :D enjoy the chappie.**

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I slapped him.

The Unfortunate thing was he was wearing goggles, so I got hurt more than him.

The other Unfortunate thing was Mello has seen it all.

Mello turned and stormed off to the room with a random dumpster in it, and I got up and followed, unaware that Matt's face was getting closer to his hair color, by the second.

Mello was- well I wasn't really sure where he was, no one seemed to be in that room at all. As I searched it I noticed the graffiti on the Dumpster spelled out: _Sir Death Snare. _ I finally gave up finding the cry baby, but I didn't leave the room either, I just sat down and (ironically) cried. . . .When your only comfort in life, is a handful of chocolate stuffed in your mouth, when you're tired, just been kissed, in the home of the mafia . . .you tend to get a little weepy.

Then some rough cloth was forced over my mouth and nose, and I (embarrassing as it is) fainted.

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Light was sitting in the subway train, repeatedly tapping his pencil against his seat, waiting, and dreading, the time the train would stop. . . .He had figured out, thanks to the paper, that the FBI was tailing people they suspected of being Kira. He had also found out where Ballerina was seen last. . .he might tell his dad she was wanted, that would keep her in check, but then what if she told the police everything. That wouldn't work at all, he was trapped, and it was turning out that Ballerina was more trouble than L!

"Ryuk, I won't be speaking to you after I get out." Light said in his business like tone. "But feel free to speak to me, just know that I won't be answering you." Ryuk agreed.

The train came to a screeching halt and Light came out walking swiftly to the Diner where he last read Ballerina to be found.

As he was starting to cross the street near the diner, he slightly overheard some old women whispering. . .

"I am appalled Edith, you mean that crazy blond robber murderess lady pounced you?"

"Oh yes Myrtle, it was horrifying, she practically stabbed me!"

"Oh my, I'm surprised you weren't hauled off in pieces to the hospital!"

Light slightly taken aback, was surprised that Ballerina had gained such a reputation, since he had assumed her of being a girly dainty helpless type.

Just then a black convertible pulled up on the side walk, cutting him off. A lady emerged with frizzy black hair, long black boots and a black leather jacket; she kicked her door closed after retrieving some grocery bags. Tilting her sunglasses up above her eyes, she deliberately walked into an alley.

Now Light had had enough of things not making sense, but he supposed anything weird would have something to do with the stupid pink person, so he slowly followed the convertible woman, keeping her in sight as far as possible.

He wandered in and out of different alleys, wondering where this suspicious lady was headed, finally she entered a door in a building, and just as Light was planning to do similarly, Another suspicious lady appeared around the corner, she was different, her Hair was straight and blond, she dressed in white leather, and was carrying a huge potato sack over her shoulder. Light had to make a choice, follow the lady in black? Or the lady in white? He chose black.

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Sierra opened her eyes, she was tied up again, but this time, she was moving somewhere, she was in a closed square space, with one light bulb hanging from the ceiling by a string, she was alone.

(Switching back to 1st person now (that being Sierra))

After quite a time elapsed and I seriously needed to relieve myself, a door was opened, and it became clear that I was in the back of a delivery truck. Standing in front of me was a gorgeous lady with dazzling white teeth that matched her outfit, and blue eyes, and 3 guns in her belt. Her hair was similar to Mello's (or Misa's) and she was smirking at me with perfectly thin red lips.

"Hello" she started, "What's wrong sweetie, having cramps? I would've sent you 1st class, if you were a 1st class character, unfortunately by my book your only 65th."

This lady was really making me dislike her, but I tried my best not to look too offended, at the random stranger who had just kidnapped me and was now making fun of me.

The lady then scowled at me, apparently I was supposed to try and fight back or something.

She snapped her fingers, and two rugged, smocking, buff, dirty men came and lifted me out and put me on the pavement in a sitting position. I noticed we were in an abandoned parking lot- wait not all the way abandoned there were a few Rolls of Royce sitting around. I was thinking though all the possibilities, maybe she lives here and likes big drive ways? Or maybe she works for the government's secret kidnapping assembly or something. The building I assumed was behind me and the truck, but I couldn't be sure.

"Questioning time." Said the lady. She undid my mouth gag, (which was the reason I was not speaking for so long).

"Who are you?" I asked defiantly

"Ha ha ha ha" she laughed, a pure and magnificent laugh. "Why, my dear, I'm questioning you, not the other way around."

"So, what is your question?" I asked, frowning slightly at the unanswered question.

"What is Mello to you?" demanded the lady, pulling a mirror out of her belt and playing with her hair.

"Well, a guy who kidnapped me I guess." I said wondering how she knew about all this.

"Really?" said the lady looking sharply at me with her cold blue eyes. "I had thought you ran off with him, after I murdered your last husband."

I didn't respond, I decided she was mistaking me for another person, or maybe she had gotten her information wrong, but she was definitely not afraid to kill, this woman was dangerous.

"Ha ha ha ha" coolly laughed the lady again. "Still hurts doesn't it darling?"

"Um, yes?" I answered not really knowing who my supposed former husband was, but thinking I had better play along, lest she kill me for not being the correct person.

"Well, we all get over it eventually." Then the Lady smirked at me. "We've never actually met face to face before, have we?" she asked.

"Erm, no ma'm." I answered; figuring politeness was the best answer, truthfully guessing at every answer.

"Ha ha ha ha." She laughed for a third time; I was truly getting tired of her. "That was a rhetorical question honey. You do know what that means right?" she asked in her most condescending tone. She was just trying to make me hate her, I could tell, so I decided the best way to annoy her back was to act like I was superior.

"Of course Darling" I said laughing elegantly. "I was only wondering if you knew such words, having only a trivial education as thou dost."

This method worked, the lady became furious. She grabbed the front of my shirt with her left hand and lifted me (still tied up) until we were eye level with each other.

"Watch it, Girly." She said taking on a menacing voice now. "I know you've got the mafia on your side, but I have the police on mine." She said leaning in so I could smell her mint gum.

"Chewing gum, is actually bad for your teeth." I said not losing my cool.

The Lady's frown deepened, and she plopped my (not at all nicely) back down onto the pavement, and stepped on my neck with her white heeled boot, and bent down and whispered in my ear. I felt dizzy, I was pretty sure I was being choked. Almost the same time I was passing out (again) I noticed something. I noticed her wallet (also tucked in her belt) was not zipped up all the way, and a little piece of paper was sticking out. So even under the circumstances of gravel up one ear, whispers of murder in the other, and probably a boot shaped bruise, where I would've preferred a vampire; I grabbed the little piece of lined paper, and saw something I really should not have seen.

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(This is sort of 3rd person viewed, apologies for not being able to give virtual apologies)

Light had found himself in the most disgusting room he had ever been in. He stopped dead for he noticed a grown man (or at least a teenager) hunched in the corner playing video games! He wondered what kind of place he was in, and was just planning to leave, so as not to get muddled with stuff that would soil his name, when he heard a woman's voice from the other room, a yelling woman's voice, so he ventured forth, ducking behind the couch, so as not to be noticed by the absorbed ginger.

"What?" shrieked a female voice. "What do you mean you've lost her! She was valuable, we were gonna get big bucks!"

"Well sorry, miss healthy!" roared a male voice. "I didn't realize the little pig was my responsibility!"

"Mello!" said the woman sharply. "Are you positive you didn't hide her, so she wouldn't have to go through everything?"

"Yes Positive, I will never have anything to do with helping that freaking scamp ever again!"

"Fine, then wha-" Saffron was walking out of the kitchen, when her foot stepped on something, that something turned out to be Light Yagami's fingers.

"What in the BLUE BLAZES OF HUNPHREY HAG BLASTER!" shrieked the male voice (belonging a bratty looking blond).

"I can explain!" said Light getting up, and rubbing his injured hand.

"Fine explain!" said the woman.

"I know!" said Bratty Blond, "The little poodle, wanted more men to entertain her, so she caught this baboon, and then got him to help her escape."

"What do you mean more men?" asked black leather woman.

"What, no, I just came here to sell Curtains!" cut in Light.

"What the bubb-?" started Mello but Light cut him off.

"That's right, I am your friendly neighborhood drapery seller, may I interest you in buying some delightful curtains?" said Light in his most convincing innocent voice.

"We don't have any windows." Saffron pointed out sarcastically. "and just what were you doing on the floor?"

"Well, I fell down, and since you folks don't seem to be interested, I'll just try next door." Said Light trying to laugh his way out. When Matt of all people decided to join the fun.

"How did you find this place?" he asked staring sadistically at Light.

Light stopped short and started sweating, (of course Ryuk had been there the whole time, but Ryuk was too busy amusing himself with the situation to be of much help).

"Mello, lock him in the dumpster, and leave him there until he comes clean!" ordered Matt.

"Wait, okay I'll come clean!" said Light, feeling very trapped with no alternative, for once in his life.

"COME CLEAN THEN SWINE!" said Mello (obviously)

"I-I'm looking for this girl," said light, shoving the newspaper at matt, "she was around this area, so I was looking for her, and then I followed loud lady into your . . .um place."

"Yeah he's not lying." Said Matt resuming his game in the corner. "what's more, the girl I made-out with is the one he's looking for."

"You've got some nerve punk!" roared Mello

Light only glared.

"Anyway" interrupted Saffron with a slight questioning look at Mello, "since the _curtain salesman_ most likely new her before we did, he should know where she normally escapes to, right?" she asked turning to look at Light.

"Well, the last time she escaped she came to you guys, so maybe she found her way in the hands of more dangerous criminals?" stated Light having returned to his normal drawl and monotonous demeanor, these people were criminals, after all.

"Fang It!" said Saffron, "It's you-know-her and her muscle walkies."

"Man, I am so out of touch with criminal slang." Thought Light

"NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!" said Mello falling to his knees and grabbing his hair.

Matt was affected by Saffron's announcement too, for he was playing at a rapid speed, and blowing more things than anyone ever did with Kirby.

"We've got to save her!" said Mello, apparently forgetting his oath to never have anything to do with Sierra again.

"I'm coming right?" asked Light with an air of superiority.

"No!" said Mello

"Yes!" said Saffron

They both glared at each other.

"Fine, let's go." Said Matt with a bored expression "Only, who gets her once we find her?"

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What I saw, I can never describe, only I'm sure you could picture it, if you've died. It was a shinigami.

The Lady snatched away the paper, once she noticed I took it, and looked at me and the shinigami sternly, as if trying to decide if I could see it, or not. I could.

"This might explain the murder of my husband?" I said trying to pick the gravel out of my hair. My gray tank-top was slightly bloodstained, I, however, could not find the wound, I hurt everywhere, my Black skinny jeans were ripped and not so black anymore, but more of a darkish gray.

"You see him?" asked the Lady. "Then you're dead!" She suddenly took two guns out of her belt and pointed them at me in a sideways fashion.

Just then I was swept off my butt, and into the arms of none other but Light Yagami himself.

Matt had a car waiting and Light quickly tossed between himself and Matt as he sat in the passenger and slammed the door. Hesitatingly skimming Matt, Light decided on buckling.

"Where are Saffron and Mello?" I asked in a panicked fashion.

"They're taking on the snunk bag!" said Matt firmly

"Wow, the Mafia's language is awful!" I said trying to get it out of my brain. "So who was that glamour queen?" I asked

Matt made a sharp jerk with the car. "That was Felicity Keehl."

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One day after all that you'd probably be surprised to find me clean, well rested, fed, with way to big clothes on, making Light some super; but there I was, and there I was happily living. . .NOT.

Basically I wanted to go live with Saffron, cause she seemed totally cool, but she said she had to get Mello to the hospital (seriously painful man injury to his -); and nobody thought Matt would be appropriate, so I was dragged off, with many a complaint to the home of Light.

He avoided questioning from his parents and sister, by explaining that I was a mentally disabled person, and it was a school project as well as a charity.

So there I was, a pitiful thing, crying my eyes out, and glaring.

(Reasons, pitiful because of Light's old clothing making me look tiny, crying because of the onions I was chopping, and glaring, because of the laughing death god hovering above.)

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**Mello: ahem, well I'll be doing the closing today. Lisa is, erm, doing, um, jump rope or something. . .hee hee yeah, jump rope.**

**Mello: anyway I wanted to personally apologize (unlike some proud people) for the odd time lapse thing. . .for instance at the same time Light is about to kill Raye Penber, I am in the Mafia. . . .this makes no chronological sense, but hey Lisa's a whack so, yep.**

**Mello: Hey don't blame me if Lisa and her parents aren't here for the next few chapters, its not like I was so insistent on death by chocolate killing or anything that I freaking poisoned it!**

**Mello: I quote Lisa's normal speech. . .ahem . . ."and thank you to all the reviews, they were lovely, and I am lovely, because I kidnap anime men, blah blah blah blah" . . .yep I nailed her. MWA HA HA HA HA.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, here is a recap of why I haven't posted lately. . . . . .**

**Location: Hospital**

**Doctor: Oh good your awake! You know poison isn't very good for your digestive system.**

**Lisa: Yeah I know that, what happened to me?**

**Doctor: I simply had to remove your liver, and replace it with someone else's, I am glad there are people out there who donate livers. **

**Lisa: T _ T . . . . liver?**

***Lisa picturing some old man who is dying donating a green liver.***

***Police enters***

**Police: So, Miss Laura, how exactly did you get your hands on this highly dangerous, illegal, toxic poison?**

**Lisa: . . .? who is Laura?**

**Police: Mallatoid Lisocilla Duranisome. **

**Lisa: but. . . . .um. . *thinks back to the chocolate ice-cream episode* . . . MELLO!**

***Matt, however, enters, wearing a business suit and glasses, and pretending to cry in a handkerchief, he speaks to the police* **

**Matt: *sobbing* Why officer, I am so dreadfully sorry my sister did this to herself; I think you should lock her in prison for her safety, for her families safety, and for the children's!**

**. . . . . . . .**

**Lisa: I am skipping the rest, but basically, I have not been able to write fanfiction because believe it or not the police and doctor agreed with Matt! And I had a nine month sentence in jail! Plus the few of days I was knocked out for. . .**

**So now that I am writing again, I must say I don't own any death note characters or anime characters or anything besides my characters.**

**And the worst thing is, by observing the holiday dressed police men I believe that; I MISSED CHRISTMAS, AND VALENTINES, AND NEW YEAR, AND EASTER, AND TOTALLY ALMOST ALL OF SUMMER!**

**Matt: Hi, I am living in Lisa's room too, with Mello! = D**

**Mello: *leaves room***

**Matt: 3 enjoy the chapter 3 **

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Things started going normally for the Yagami's and myself, they began to see me as a regular nuisance, and I began trying to get Light back for something that happened the first Tuesday I was there. . . . .

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Late Monday/Tuesday

"Hey, what do you mean I have to sleep in the bathtub?"

"Like I said there are no available beds, and since you are "mentally disabled" it makes sense for you to sleep in the bathtub." Light retorted, with a drawl, as if explaining things to a 2 year old.

Ryuk was cracking up so hard I was afraid he would knock some pictures off the wall, if shinigami could knock things off the wall. . . .

Then I noticed something in one of the photographs; it was a group of 5, Light's Dad, Light's Mom, Light, Light's Sister and some other boy with hollowed out eyes, definitely not Near or L, but somewhat similar in appearance.

While I was busying myself with the wall decorations Light shoved me in the bathroom and locked the door.

"Rats, more lockage."

. . . . . Light's Dad sure got a surprise a little while later. . . . .

Unfortunately I did end up falling asleep in the bathtub; don't judge it was like twelve at night, and erm, _some_ people like taking baths in the morning. . . .so. . . . .we both screamed.

Light (hypocrite) blamed me for the entire thing, and decided to give me a bean-bag chair in the garage.

(At least the drips were warmer; but then again unknown Japanese insects attacking you if you move are not so fun.)

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"Hey Light!" I yelled storming into his bedroom that afternoon. "You're evil and we need to fix that!"

"Where did all this come from?" asked Light, annoyingly already straightening his stupid tie and picking up his ugly briefcase.

"I've been thinking last night that if I am living with an evil person, not changing you would make me evil too! I mean at least some people try to do their part in the world!"

"I see, so you're referring to the death note?" Said Light looking quizzically at me.

So I answered "Yeah, you beef headed murderer!"

"You're trying to get me to throw it away of my own free will?" asked Light.

"Right?" I responded. Not really knowing where he was headed with this.

"Then I think I'll keep it, anyway it is a lot less boring being a senior if you have a handy dandy killer notebook!" Said Light walking out the door and not waiting for me to respond.

"Wait a second mister, you can't-!" but too late, he was gone, and so naturally I made fun of him for awhile until I felt better, mimicking his slightly haughty walk, doing the hot guy celebrity hair flip, and pretending to carry around an ugly brief case, I really should ruin it sometime.

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Wednesday

I was having fun hanging out with Sui, and she showed me some foods I'd never bothered trying, like _Anko_ (sweetened azuki bean paste), to which I cracked up, thinking of a Naruto character, also I had an onigiri, and some sausage shaped like octopus. I however did refuse to eat, Dried Octopus, Shishamo (scary, spooky, dead, looking-at-you fish), and Umeboshi plums.

After all that my teeth were feeling gross, I mean I don't know if you've ever considered this, but since I fell in Light's room I haven't been the most hygienic person, and I really really wanted a dentist check-up, however I doubted the Yagami's would pay the price. So I found some toothpicks and started picking my teeth.

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Light came home and found me sitting on his bed (lucky me, no booby traps) and picking my teeth with a tooth pick.

"Ewe, Why in my room?" came a sarcastic complaint from said person.

"Cause my teeth are dirty?" I replied, not bothering to really answer his question (answer being: I was trying to pick his stupid trap door with the led from a pencil in order to catch his desk on fire, before he came home.)

"Couldn't you use dentil floss, I doubt tooth picks are sanitary."

"They are called tooth picks for a reason Einstein." I said sarcastically a bit annoyed at how germophobic he always seemed.

"Fine, fine, eh bye." Light locked and closed the door. Which I thought was a bit out of way you know, since the lock is on the inside, and I could easily go and unlock it and leave.

Unfortunately for me, I was wrong. See Light apparently got to serious thinking when he heard from Saffron that I would be staying with him, and he had added a lock on the outside of his door!

So basically I was stuck in Light's room and I didn't even have anything to sabotage his ugly brief case with. Wait a minute, his brief case, it was right their left out in the open on the floor!

This could've been a trap, and if it was a bomb I'd have surely exploded, but luckily it was a bunch of Light's papers, so I dumped it out on his bed and started seeing if there was anything of interest.

It was mostly A+ school calculus II, documents about the population of Cyprus, or some flyers for a bird watches guild. There was however one interesting thing, a piece of paper with the a phone number sprawled onto it hastily, I wondered about it a bit, but I decided not to take any risks, and pocketed it.

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**LATE** Wednesday Night

After picking up his paper mass, playing dress-up with his suit jackets while practicing ballet, and trying to pry open the window several times with no luck, I began using all his sharpies and coloring on his wall; I mean, he still didn't know my name, so I was safe from death for now anyway.

I just finished my grand portrait of Light picking his nose, when I heard his door unlocking; Yikes, I sure hope he wasn't gonna get creepy like the first time we met, I mean so far, besides the odd sleeping arrangement he was pretty much a gentleman, boy was I ever wrong.

"Oh it's you." Light spat in a very unfriendly tone.

"Were you expecting some random blond model to follow you home and demand you become her boyfriend or something?" I asked, knowing all too well that this was not what he wished in the least.

"Just stuff it okay?" he said irritably, and then his eyes shot to his briefcase. "Did - you-?" he asked not quite getting the words out. (Boy, was I doomed or what).

After reshuffling and muttering under his breath, he turned on me, only to find a comical picture of a guy with his figure up his nostril. His eyes then darted at me holding the sharpie, and his breath became a lot heavier and more menacing.

Now I was pretty much terrified out of my wits by this point, I hurriedly got to my feet and Light started walking dangerously close, so I started backing up, (curse my choice of direction).

I didn't exactly look behind me, and ended up sort of leaning on the bed, with Light towering over me with anger gushing from his skin.

"H-h-hey there, just remember your reputation, kay? You know, no one suspects you yet or anything, and if you murder me it's all over!" I stuttered, completely hoping to luck out, and then escape to the garage, (evil insects are much safer then rampaging murderer's after all).

"Who said anything about Murder?" said Light tauntingly, looking me over wolfishly; and completely changing his demeanor on me, _again_. His auburn eyes looked so beautiful and so terrifying at the same time, I wondered how it was possible.

Yikes! I thought, I mean I guess an overly large white button down (that was slipping off my shoulder at this point), and some of his sister's soccer shorts, were not the best things to be wearing at this moment. My hair was cleaner now, but it was stilled frizzy and I'm sure my eyes were bugging out of their sockets; yep definitely not a desirable situation (well unless you read fanfiction, or something unlikely like that; then you'd probably love this).

He grasped my shoulders and forced me on the bed the rest of the way.

"Let's see if we can find out, just how good at dancing you are Ballerina Pink-Pink." He whispered in my ear coldly.

Seriously this was so out of character! Light wasn't supposed to be into girls at all, in the least, he was supposed to have some secret awkward crush on L! Wait unless, he was just scaring me for the heck of it, then that would kind of be in character, and it was working very well, I mean I was scared.

He removed one hand and unbuttoned my top button slowly, looking up to see my reaction; and I assume he wasn't expecting it, I was glaring ice cold at him with a hatred I had never had for anyone else in my life, how dare he exploit me like this! I didn't ask to be locked in his room, kept in his house, flung in his anime! Tears were coming out of my eyes in strands (against my will entirely), I didn't make a sound, but I know he understood what he was doing to me.

He got up and didn't look back at me once; he just marched right out the door and slammed it shut.

I was certainly confused, I mean one moment a guy is trying to open up something he shouldn't and the next he runs away, well at least I was still as pure as I'd always been; and Light was probably still fuming at me, but why the sudden change?

I didn't even reconsider the Garage, I was so worn out, I just grabbed the sheets pulled them over my head and fell into a restless sleep.

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Thursday

"Wow that was the best sleep I ever had!" I said stretching my arms upward and yawning at the same time (I mean seriously, bathtub? No sleep? Foreign Beatle attack? A bed is a good invention).

That's about when I realized where I was, cripes! At least he wasn't in here or- well I spoke too soon, he was lying sideways at the bottom of his bed, at my feet; well that was a little weird, but I guess he decided to come back up sometime when I was asleep; oh yeah, the previous night came crashing down on my head again, wow, I seriously needed revenge.

"Ryuk?" I asked getting up and quietly tip-toeing over to where the semi-invisible creature was hanging upside-down on the ceiling.

"Uh-huh?" was the only reply from the leathery encasement I received.

"Where were you last night?" I asked a sudden curiosity taking a hold.

"Apple Orchard, don't tell you-know-who though, he kind of banned it, bad habit ya know, equivalent of a bar and all." Ryuk said muffled, well he was a death god after all I guess he can do whatever badness he wants to.

"Okay, I won't tell; if- ." I started.

"If?" Ryuk started back.

"If you make sure that you-know-who, doesn't manhandle me again." I said grinning a little at the wonderful protection prospect.

"He manhandled you?" asked Ryuk a little surprised by his voice. "Well I am not sure how much I can stop him, I certainly won't kill him, that would destroy me to see, but I guess I could scare him a little for ya."

"Thanks". I whispered up to my new greatest companion.

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Sure running away was not the first thought that came to mind that day (pouring a jar of mustard on top of Light's brief case was), but it definitely came, and with a lot of thinking involved besides.

I mean worst case scenario I would be caught again by the mafia, and/or the warped police. But I doubted that would happen again. Anyway, I could get a job I mean I knew enough about Psychology to be a Psychiatrist Assistant (and we all know that this town needed it). Or I could bake Dango or something, maybe eventually save up to go back to ballet class? Wasn't sure actually if this dump has ballet class, but oh well worth a try right? Anyway my end result needed to be saving and marrying L!

I snuck out the door, finding it helpfully unlocked, and decided to steal a few of Sui's clothes so I could run away with style.

After walking a couple blocks, I felt a bit unnerved like someone was following me, but I shook it off, probably nothing after all.

Some Lady came up at whacked me with her purse, but other than that nothing much happened that was eventful.

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Thursday Night

I was worn down, I mean walking all day, and sort of preparing to walk all night was not the most pleasant I've ever felt. I sat down on a bench and lifted my sore heals. I leaned against the bench only to jump up again in pain, (seriously what was in that woman's purse?).

I heard some rustling again, and decided now was not the time for homeless creepers.

"Hey!" I yelled looking around and pretending to be completely in my comfort zone, (which was a lie).

A slim figure arose from the bush, kind of hunched a bit, with noticeably messy hair; man I wish I had a flash light.

He started venturing over to where I was sitting, not good not good, think Sierra, what was it they always teach you to do in these situations, why oh why had I chosen ballet over karate?

"Hey." Came a reply from an unusually deep young voice, he sat down next to me, and I looked at him in surprise but wait, I knew that posture, Knees up, hunched like a monkey . . . .but it couldn't be, why would- ?

"L?" I asked not quite believing myself.

"Hmm? You know of me, interesting; I'd say there is a 37% probability that you enjoy watching the news."

"It is you!" I shouted, leaping up beside myself with joy, not even thinking how weird this all was for him, and hugging him like a long lost friend.

"Good to see you to, have we met before?" he asked quizzically, patting my back hesitatingly.

"No, but I know everything!" I stated, grabbing his hand and dragging him into a standing position besides me.

"Do you really?" he asked his expression (if I could see it) unchanging, and his calm still intact.

"Well sort of, see you're going to die soon, and I came to warn you about it, so you can be alive and stop Kira!" I shouted practically waking up the whole neighborhood (which I found out later brought me nothing but trouble in the end).

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**Mello: Hey Lisa writes, from her prison cell: Ahem: sorry to all commenter's and readers, about not being with you, but it takes forever for the policemen to scan the story and it took me forever to give them instruction on how to post it; furthermore every single little misspelling or miss punctuation was fully critiqued so no need, and plus finding paper and pen, then reading it all out to prissy police men so he could type it was a pain, so they are releasing me in a month, where I can definitely write at least 1 every couple of weeks; so no worries.**

**Matt: wow, Mello that was really lame and boring, she could've just told the truth about how she procrast-**

**Mello: *slaps hand over Matt's mouth* SHUT THE REAKING HARE DOWN!**

**Matt: *removing said hand* fine whatever, I am personally sad that the mafia weren't in this chapter, and that stopping before Friday was A HORRIBLE IDEA, but I guess Lisa was having "so called" fits with "so called" police men. ; )**

**Lisa: I CAN QUAIL MUFFIN, HEAR YOU MATT!**

**Matt: See?**

**Mello: HAMSTERS! NOW NO ONE IS GONNA RESPECT ME, GUYS I CAN TOTALLY POISON SASQUATCH'S SISSY'S, TAKE ME BACK MAFIA, GET ME OUGHTA HERE! ! ! !**

**Matt: Eat soap Mello, goodness there are some pre-adult readers out there.**

**Lisa: Well, that's my life ; ) ; Thanks for reading!**


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